Fizzling out
Just something I wanted to say
Throughout my career, I have tried it all when it comes to music marketing. I have listened to the podcasts, joined the communities, read the books, attended the conferences, watched the videos, made the videos, hawked the videos. I have played the games, done the dances, followed the rules, and broke them. I’ve tried to be somebody I’m not, and I’ve tried to be myself, and I’ve tried that godawful act-like-you’re-acting-like-yourself bit that everyone seems to be doing on social media now. Each tactic eventually fizzled out for me.
A year ago I decided to stop the nonsense. Substack had been on its meteoric rise, offering a refreshingly alternative platform to traditional social media. Paired with a high-functioning website, I thought that I could figure out a way to exist online that suited my personality. But the work of building all that, combined with the pressure to give my new album its due diligence, left me utterly exhausted and, thanks to a series of health struggles, prostrate in bed for the better part of a month, recovering all summer. So that effort also fizzled out.
When I finally got back on my feet, I found I had no stomach to try again. Even just the thought felt like death to me, like it was a dirty deed that would kill my creativity and life force. The things that were helping me heal, both from burnout and physical injury, were things that are real, like having cookouts with my neighbors every weekend and throwing a football with my son and reading books. My creativity came back last fall with a vengeance and I was more productive in those months than I’ve ever been in my life. And I just couldn’t bring myself to post about it because it felt like that would be taking the good things in my life and selling them out, basically turning them into commodities. So I stopped altogether and went about my work quietly.
Now, over a year later, my fizzling out has itself fizzled out.
Months of trying out this latest experiment just proves that it doesn’t work either. Thanks to capitalism and the internet, there simply is no way for an artist to even give their work away without schlepping it. And because the internet has effectively co-opted all means of communication, that schlepping must be done online. This is a reality I’m still coming to terms with. I don’t know how to do that, for me anyway, in a way that is fully healthy, sustainable, and that doesn’t compromise my artistic integrity.
What I do know is that I’ve got to do something. Being a hermit, as wonderful as it is, isn’t going to cut it. I’ve got an album – two actually! – coming out soon and they’ll need schlepping. So I’m on to yet another experiment. I still think the Substack + website combo is the lesser of many online evils, so I’m gonna stick with that. But I’m gonna try making a few significant adjustments:
I’m gonna write when I want to, not when I “should” – when I feel I have something worth sharing and when I feel I can share it the right way. I’m not gonna check stats, metrics, or notifications. Nor am I gonna allow comments on my posts. Nothing wrong with those things, but, for me, their just existing in my awareness makes it feel like I’m performing.
Ok, that’s it for now. No call to action or breaking news or world-changing solutions. Or snazzy concluding paragraph. Just something I wanted to say. I’ll see you next week…or next year. Who knows!
P.S. None of this mean I don’t like people or don’t want to connect with you. You can always email me. I’m really good at email. I love email. Or you can call/text if you have my number. I would love that :)